Gripes and Grins

Gripe: 5 Gum hurts

The gripes on this blog are carefully selected. I take brand criticism very seriously because my career is about marketing and managing products and business lines intended for mass market consumption. I don't throw out critiques carelessly.  Consider that when you read my thoughts on the new "power gum" products.

Years ago, I worked at Nabisco, one of the biggest companies in the candies and gums space.  I know a thing or two about gum, and gum development.  I was working at Nabisco when "IceBreaker", the original power gum was launched.  IceBreaker was meant to be far and away the most powerful tasting and smelling gum around.  But, by today's standards, the gum is child's play.  Over the last two years, I'm personally experiencing some of the downside risk of power gums.

A quick search of gum-related injuries turned up tons of complaints about "Big Red" gum.  These symptoms and problems aren't limited to Big Red though.  Twice in the last 18 months, I've given "5 Gum" a try, and for my patronage I experienced one of the most painful injuries of my life.  I remind you, as a former collegiate and professional athlete, I've broken dozens of bones, torn cartilage and ligaments multiple times.  I recently broke a tooth in half -- the sores from 5 gum were much worse. 

Here's what happens.  I chewed a piece of 5 Gum during a workout in early March -- I chewed it for about an hour.  My tongue was going numb after the workout.  I couldn't taste anything for about a week.  I was totally bummed, because I knew what was coming next.  Painful red sores showed up on the edge of my tongue and after several weeks, the sores receded and my taste-buds peeled over another week.  For the last four weeks, taste is slowing returning to me.  But some tastes are still altered.  

How did I know what would follow the sores?  Because the same thing happened to me just over a year ago.  5 Gum was the common denominator.  I chew gum frequently -- usually after drinking coffee.  I've been chewing milder gums from Starbucks, Juicy Fruit and others.  I figured the flavoring of 5 Gum was the root cause of the first instance, because I felt no side effects from other gums for over a year.  But, after trying the new 5 Gum flavors this March, I know that it is something about 5 Gum ingredients that is causing this issue. 

IMHO, 5 Gum has a problem: There's no warnings on the labels, no disclosures about the potential for burning or sores or adverse reactions to flavorings or ingredients, which prompts the question -- what does Wrigley know about this gum?  Do press and media know what's going on with 5 Gum, Big Red and other powerfully-flavored gums? If this flavoring is doing this to my tongue, what are the other harmful side effects.  This looks like huge potential for an ugly set of disclosures and law suits somewhere in the future.

Summary: Something is wrong with 5 gums, and based on what I'm reading in online forums, other gums are having similar issues.   I don't know exactly what it is, but the exaggerated colors and flavors should be our warning. 

Personal Blog Loathing

I've been struggling with blog fatigue again.  I haven't been able to put my finger on why I'm having trouble creating personal updates, going after service groups messing with people (I'm rooting for your GoDaddy refund @joeped), or cross-referencing good content (@tomforemski is en fuego this week!). 

Last night I poured a Racer5 and started a big fire, flipped on the "tele" and watched John Oliver's standup on Comedy Central.  Jeneane Garofalo joined a roster of guys I've never seen or heard.  She looked great, sounded great, her material was outstanding.  Just seeing her do stand up reminded me of my younger, abrasive disposition that was oh-so-appropriate for the 1990s.  Like my goatee, that "tude" was cut back by humbling events like parenthood, career success and various milestones that simultaneously induce tolerance and confidence.  I like to think I'm getting better now, funnier, more affable and less-cynical, but I can't really say.  But, after listening to Jeneane, it was clear her stand up has never been better.

Back to my lead-in: There was one bit in Jeneane's routine that I really connected with my blog fatigue -- she goes on a tangent marveling (sorta criticizing, but much more subtle) at the younger generation's ability to produce content.  For someone of my age, it's hard to produce content.  The GenX predisposition is self-critical, if not self-loathing -- that's really Jeneane's punchline. 

In the 90s there were so many reasons to be pissed-off and disappointed.  Not freaked out and afraid like the last decade, but seriously frustrated and disillusioned.  Our parents, the boomers, are/were perhaps the greatest under-achievers of all time, and remain ever-so-self-unaware, which was the root of all our discontent.  But, beneath the snarky and sardonic primer, it felt as if all Xers were genuinely overwhelmed, dispassionate, apathetic and every bit of the Douglas Coupland and Richard Linklater stereotypes. 

Being social through media is a bit of a chore for me.  And, in hearing this Garofalo bit, for a few minutes I felt connected with my generation again.  Thoughtful production - even a tweet - often involves considering other perspectives or personal reflection, and that can be wearisome for the terminally self-aware.  Not so for the younger generation, if I can be allowed to judge and generalize;) And THAT, to me, is funny in a snarky-1990s-sense.